What a difference ten days makes! In that time, I've come and gone on another business trip (which means I ate and drank way more than I should have), met with the dietician, met with the pulmonologist, stood up my surgeon and had a sleep test done.
I'm not busy! Who's busy?!
I met with the dietician earlier this week and I have to say that while I did not really connect to her on a personal level, I took notes anyway and asked clarifying questions about some of the rules I will need to follow (and actually implement now). Some of the fun stuff I've mentioned before, but am now living:
- No mixing of food and beverages. This has been a challenge! I can't drink anything (even water!) 20 minutes before OR after a meal or snack. It will stretch the pouch and push food through faster, making me hungrier, so this is a habit I need to get down.
- No carbonated beverages. Ever. The dietician explained that carbonation will stretch the pouch and that the carbonation will not really have anywhere to go once it's inside you. She told a fun (well, fun if you have MY sense of humor) story about a woman who drank some soda and then foamed at the mouth. Doesn't really sound worth it if you ask me. This is going to be a challenge for me since I'm a big soda drinker. Having weaned myself off regular soda, I'd learned to enjoy the diet stuff. But now, think about it, that means no more sparkling water or CHAMPAGNE! One of my favorite adult beverages of all time will now be relegated to the Do Not Touch list (along with dirty socks and a host of other things).
- Eat every 3.5-4 hours. Start the clock as soon as you wake up by eating something within the first 1-2 hours. This isn't that difficult for me since no matter what time I eat at night, I tend to wake up famished. I've been incorporating a low-fat cheese stick (I'm currently obsessed with monterey jack) either before I leave the house or on my commute into work. I make sure to either pack or buy enough snacks to keep me going between meals as well.
- Eat S-L-O-W! This is a toughie for me since I practically inhale my food. Each bite is supposed to be dime-sized and chewed 6-8 times. Meals should take at least 20 minutes to finish (and for me, they never do).
- Count Calories. Pre-surgery I should aim for 1600-1800 per day. Post-surgery, I should expect to have between 800-1000 a day.
After all of that fun, I met with the pulmonologist who could totally have a career in stand up if this whole doctor thing doesn't work out for him. He, along with my surgeon, suspect sleep apnea. Since the connection between a lack of sleep and overeating is well documented in scientific circles (no really, it's not JUST my excuse), it was important for them to test me to determine whether or not I have sleep apnea or some other sleep disorder.
I was able to get an appointment for the next evening, so I headed there after work (since my appointment with appointment with the surgeon was moved earlier as he had a conflict and then I was running late). The pulmonologist took me over to the sleep study suite so I could check out the rooms. It was like one minute you're in a hospital and the next, you've been whisked away to a hotel room. Except that before you can go to sleep, they connect you to a gazillion wires, strap belts around you to monitor your breathing and stick some tubes in your nose. Fun, right?!?!?
Not so much. I'm not sure how they expect people to pass this test in the first place. It's almost like it's designed for people to fail. For starters, they want you to try sleeping on your back most of the night. Blech. You're strapped to all of these wires (which are thin, don't get me wrong, it's not like sleeping on bundling cables), but the kicker is really the tubes in the nose. I have enough trouble breathing, thank you very much!
Since it takes two to three weeks for the results to be analyzed, I don't have much information yet. I did not meet the criteria for the insurance company to cover the cost of the CPAP machine, but that doesn't mean I don't have sleep apnea either. Apparently I did wake up quite frequently throughout the night so all of these years I've been complaining about being sleep deprived, I wasn't kidding. Oh yeah, and don't share a hotel room with me because despite my protests over the last decade, I snore.
In other news, I am now scheduled to follow up with the surgeon on Monday, so stay tuned! I hear that my next three clearances should be coming quickly which means then it's just up to the surgeon to clear me and get my date confirmed!
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