Miscellany

Now that Hurrican Irene has passed us on the East Coast and I'm not laying on the couch like a soggy noodle thanks to both dentistry and crazy air pressure that made me nauseous all weekend, I can share a few more things with you.

I went thrifting this weekend.  Inspired by a friend (who also has a pretty amazing blog you should follow), I spent about an hour at the local Salvation Army tearing through their women's section  like nobody's business.  I snagged a black and silver tank top, a plain black tank top, a Banana Republic tank (good for work), two pairs of Ashley Stewart jean skirts and a black velvet blazer that's perfect for Fall.  All in, I spent $37.39.  Not too shabby!

Last night, I sat down with a pair of scissors and a seam ripper and tore apart one of the denim skirts.  It was about 4" too long to be anything by dowdy.  I cut it back and patiently sat around shredding the hemline.  When that was done, I went to town deconstructing two t-shirts I'd had made up especially for our trip to Electric Zoo next weekend).  I cut a wide, boat neck and created some slashes in the back of the first one.  The second one, I turned into a tank with slashes in the side of the shirt that I plan to double weave, but just haven't gotten around to yet.  Because the third one fits perfectly, I'm not doing anything to it. 

Packing for this event is always tough, but is made even more tough this year due to the fact that we're attending two after parties.  So in addition to having to pack three sets of clothes that will be comfortable dancing outside for twelve hours a day, I also need to pack at least two outfits for the after party.  This normally would mean I'd sit in my bedroom and try on everything and cry because nothing looks right.  But this year, I've got options!  I've got skinny jeans and tanks and Airwalks and skirts and all sorts of things to fall back on.  It's actually fun thinking about this instead of being stressed about what to wear!  What's not fun is spending time thinking about how little sleep I'll be getting.

In other news, I was craving corn chowder last night.  I don't know why, but sometimes I get these odd cravings.  I can say that they're not like pre-op when I craved sugar and sweets, so hey, that's a plus.  Anyway, I found this amazing Ina Garten recipe that if I could eat more than 4-5 oz. at a time would be deadly.  But since I can only have a little, I figured I'd give it a shot.  It was delicious!  Of course, now I have enough corn chowder to last me through winter (and I only made half the recipe, friends).

A few last things that have helped me since I've been post-op:

• Dinner Rolls.  Yep, dinner rolls.  Since I can't tolerate a lot of bread since my bypass, I found these little babies to be the perfect size for a PB&J, or tomato & mozzarella sandwich.  We found a bag of 48 at Costco for a few bucks and I've frozen them and just take one out and defrost it when I want it.
• Hint water.  I finally found something I can drink that doesn't have fake sugar (or any sugar, for that matter) but still adds some flavor!  Getting my fluids in is finally not a problem!  I'm about to start ordering this by the case from Amazon (no joke!) because I can only find a few of the flavors in my local grocery store.  I might also stop being a lazy ass and just make my own.
• I've stopped looking at breakfast as eggs, oatmeal and cereal and instead have adopted a more Mediterranean style with cheese, fruit, pita and hummus.  I found this amazing lemon hummus at the grocery store this week, but before that, I'd pack individual servings of Sabra hummus that I picked up at BJs.

Shoe Love and Other Miscellany

In an effort to get my house in shape (which in turn is also sort of a metaphor for my attempt to get my LIFE in shape), I realized I was going to have to part with the bag o’shoes that no longer fit or that were so far gone that not even the cobbler (because yes, we still call them that in the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts) wouldn’t be able to resurrect them.

I said goodbye to three pairs of beloved boots and at least 9 pairs of heels and flats.  Many of the heels had the nails coming through.  Some had soles that were falling off.  But many of them, and in fact, my primary reason for needing to do this, is that since my surgery and subsequent 30 pound loss in 7 weeks (you didn’t think I’d leave my weekly progress out of this post, did you?), my feet have shrunk a half size.

Huh?

Yeah, I’m not kidding.

I was in a shoe store the other day looking for a pair of shoes to wear to a music festival I’m attending in NYC next weekend and when I tried on my usual 7’s, they were too big.  6’s were too small, but the 6.5’s were just right.  I thought it may have just been the brand, because like clothes, all shoes are cut differently.  But no, my feet have actually shrunk a half size.

The good news in all of this, though, is that now that we’re approaching Fall, I needed some new shoes anyway to get through the season and the upcoming Winter.  So this culling just created more room for me to replace them. And in other news, I’ve been checking out some boots online.  For most of my life I’ve had to order them from plus-size specialty stores because my calves are too large.  But it now appears that they’re small enough for me to buy them from DSW where is where I get most of my best deals.

Other than my feet shrinking, I’ve gone through every article of clothing I own and now have three bags of clothes to donate.  I’m on the cusp of needing some new work pants because my old ones are starting to fall off and of course they don’t have belt loops.  I’m hoping to hold off until Winter to buy new pants because Fall is another extension of dress season for me.

I’m not going to hit my target of losing 41 pounds before the music festival next week.  I mean losing another 11 pounds in the next week would be ludicrous, but I’m okay with this.  I think that my imagination got carried away by the crazy losses in the first month.  I mean, losing 24 of those 30 pounds in the first month does a little job on your brain in the process.  Now I know to expect an 8-10 pound loss per month going forward.  That means that by Christmas, I could be down as much as 60 pounds total.  How amazing that would be!

MacGyver!

"MacGyver – (v) 1. To use ingenuity to fix or remedy a problem using only the tools available at hand. 2. To jury-rig.

We have a lot to thank Angus MacGyver for. This mild-mannered and mulleted TV action-adventure character showed us how to solve everyday problems with a combination of ingenuity and readily available materials. Like burning through an armoured door with nothing but handlebars and a flare, for example." Cycle Chick

This morning, I found it necessary to MacGyver a tourniquet-like device to stop the ozzing of one mostly healed abdominal wound with only a paper towel, some scotch tape and a prayer. This wouldn't be necessary if I'd either invest in more Tagaderm patches or you know, find Band-Aids.   It also wouldn't be necessary if it weren't summer and I didn't insist on wearing white shirts.

But since I didn't and I do, I found myself in quite the predicament this morning.

So far, that scotch tape is holding up pretty well.

All Over the Place

The image above pretty much sums up where I've been for the last few weeks.  I've had quite a lot of distractions at work and I've done some traveling so I've been beyond scatter-brained.

A friend sent me a sly little note telling me how much they were looking forward to my next blog update and I'm sure that's part of the reason I've been staying away.  No, not because I'm being urged to write or that people look forward to it, but that I find that I've fallen into the Blogger's Trap:  that place where you only write if there's something YOU think is interesting to say. 

I mean, honestly, how many times I can write about the following without you getting bored out of your mind or totally disgusted:

• Vomit - the verb and the noun
• Daily postings about losing weight (Look, I had gastric bypass, if I didn't lose weight then that would be news!)
• The everyday phenomena that occurs when you stumble upon something that reminds you that you are indeed smaller
• The strange things that start to happen to your body as you lose weight
• The fun of recovering from major abdominal surgery and life with weeping wounds and serious scars
• And of course, what bariatric surgery blog would be complete without the constant reminders of how absolutely amazing you look now that you've started to drop the weight.  I mean, how could they not have noticed what a pretty face I have, but... (Yeah, the chubbies in the room know precisely what I'm talking about here)

That's about summed up my life in the last six weeks since my surgery, but since some of you seem to be itching to know the details, I'll provide them.  Just don't say that I didn't warn you that it'd be graphic.  You have been duly warned.

I'll start with what I'm sure you all want to know most:  I've lost 27 pounds in the 6 weeks since my surgery.  Because I'm not exercising, it's slowed to about 2 pounds per week just based on my food intake.  I intend to exercise, but I continue to make excuses for why I'm not doing it.  Those excuses include:  I don't have the money for a gym; I hate working out to begin with; working out is torture; I look ridiculous in workout clothes; and my all-time favorite:  I know I have a free gym in my building, but I really want to take some sort of aerobics class and I don't want to do it alone.  Whine Whine Whine.  It's on my to-do list, okay?  Sue me.

I've had a few instances where I've vomited.  This is not because my surgeon is a dunce or because it's just What Gastric Bypass Patients Do.  It's entirely because there have been times where I simply haven't followed the rules.  One time it was because I ate too fast (because I didn't plan properly and was over-hungry).  Another time it's because I ate a piece of my anniversary cake despite the warnings to stay away from sweets.  Last night it was because although I knew better than to eat the breaded and fried mozzarella stick, I ate it anyway.  I've discovered that when they say not to eat fried foods, they mean it.  They also mean it when they tell you to stay away from bread.  And I've discovered - the hard way - that I can no longer tolerate sour foods like pickles.  I can only have olives in moderation before the gag reflex kicks in, and by moderation I mean like one or two.

Want to know what's fun (and a sure sign you're losing weight)?  Walking through the city and discovering that your underwear have completely fallen off your ass.  No, really.  Imagine you're just sitting at a baseball game and as soon as you get up to leave, you start to feel the creep of your underwear sliding off your ass and by the time you get home, they're around your knees and you're just grateful you chose to wear pants.  This has happened a few times in various scenarios and let me tell you, I've decided I need to buy some new ones.

Imagine trying on your favorite pair of shoes and having them flop off the back of your feet (despite not being flip flops) because bizarrely enough, your feet have shrunk or narrowed or something.  This is another current dilemma.  Although the fact that summer is almost over gives me a great excuse to buy some new Fall shoes.  No complaints there.  DSW, here I come!

How about your body doing things involuntarily that you didn't agree to?  I don't remember agreeing to belch like 50 times in a row or to get the hiccups whenever I eat or to get a runny nose when I'm right on the cusp of overeating.  I don't remember telling my uterus to kick into gear and get rid of the PCOS and get me back on a monthly schedule.  I don't remember what the acne was like during that TTOTM, but now I've got clear reminders all over my face.  It's like I'm back in high school.  Time to re-up the Proactive.

But what's really fun about being post-op is watching people try to figure it out.  I can't tell you how many "Aren't you hungry?"s I've gotten or "You look great!  Did you cut your hair?"s I've received.  And yes, yes, I did cut my hair but that's not the reason my face looks thinner, thank you very much.  It's not the reason I walk through the halls holding my pants up or why it looks like I have a whole new wardrobe (as clothes that haven't fit me in a year are starting to be too big).

I thought I'd be okay with being an open book about the why, but as it turns out, I find it incredibly awkward to tell a stranger that I really did enjoy the food, but I simply can't eat anymore.  Or why I bring a bento box filled with snacks that I have to eat every 2-3 hours.  Or why you may see me wear something once and a week later it's in my ever-growing donation pile because it's now too big.   Or why it looks like I'm playing with my food when I'm cutting it up into the tiniest little pieces.  Or why my necklaces all look too long now and my rings don't fit me right anymore.  Or why the smallest tasting menu you've ever seen was the perfect size for me.  Or why every new tendon I discover is like your first time playing with sparklers - scary and completely thrilling at the same time. 

Or why losing weight may actually be changing who I am.  And how utterly terrified I am of that being true.

 

Progress

It's officially been 4 weeks since my surgery and I am down 24 pounds in that time.  What feels incredibly strange is the consistency with which the weight continues to drop off.  When you've tried every diet under the sun, and you hit that plateau around 20 pounds, you start to expect that you'll never lose more than that and so it become pointless to try.  But even now, when I'm not exercising and no longer being extremely cautious about what I'm eating, the weight continues to come off.

With that said, I know that if I continue to lose large amounts of weight without doing any kind of exercise to help (a) speed it up and (b) tone up my body, I'm not going to like what I'm left with.  So, I found a personal trainer and we have our first workout tonight.  I'm really excited about this.  I had a trainer a few years ago and found it incredibly helpful.  First of all, the elliptical isn't going to change your body, especially when you have this much weight to lose.  I was doing 2 workouts a day for 45-60 minutes on the elliptical back then and the scale wasn't budging.  But as soon as my trainer switched up my routine and had me doing compound exercises, boot camp style workouts, plyometrics and got me out of the gym - my entire body changed quickly.  

Clearly, that's what I'm hoping for here as well.  The plan is to work with the trainer 2 days a week to start.  I'm sure she'll give me instruction on what to do the other 2-3 days a week that I should be working out that I'm not with her.

I've been really successful in terms of what I'm able to eat, however I'm pretty sure that's because I'm fearless when it comes to food.  I've met people who are extremely cautious with their pouch and don't try foods because they've been scared off of them.  Now that I'm back to eating real food again, I have zero interest in protein shakes or smoothies.  I never liked them before surgery and I didn't expect that surgery would be the magic bullet that would suddenly change that; so I don't bother forcing myself to eat them.

Breakfast is usually either a scrambled egg or oatmeal (either sweet - with fruit; or savory).  Lunch is either a half sandwich I've packed from home, leftovers from another night's meal or whatever looks good at the company cafeteria.  Yesterday, for instance, they had a chicken salad with grapes and almonds, so I ordered a scoop of that without any bread and it was delicious.  Yes, I got some puzzled looks and the obvious, "You sure you don't want some lettuce or tomato with that?" but I'd rather only take what I can eat than wasting the rest of it because I can't.  Dinner has taken on a life of its own.  I've had chicken, steak, pasta, veggies - all with success.  I try not to eat much bread because it fills me up too quickly, but last night I had cheese tortellini with peas and 1/2 cup was just enough for me - which is crazy because before surgery I'd have eaten half the package.

One area that I should probably exhibit more caution is with sweets.  So first of all, I've lost my cravings for them and I can't tolerate things that are too sweet now - this includes all of those fake sugary drinks like Crystal Light, by the way.  However, we brought home an amazing cake for our anniversary from one of our favorite bakers and even though I didn't crave the cake, I thought I could have a small piece (we're talking a paper thin slice of a 4" cake, so not much at all) and be okay with it.  Well, the other day when I tried it, it was fine.  Last night?  Not so much.  I spent the night nauseous, wishing I could vomit to make the feeling go away.  So, this is a lesson that I should just stay away from them altogether.  Then I won't have to worry about whether or not this will be the time I can tolerate something.

Point taken!

One of the things that came up with my Life Manager (this is an inside joke whereby I basically told her she shouldn't be a Life Coach, but rather a Life Manager where she just makes all of the decisions and we just have to go along with them) this week was to begin finding and engaging in activities that hit on my core values.  So, one of the things I came up with was to participate in a 5K.  I haven't jogged in oh, five years or so, but now seemed as good a time as any to get back into it.  I found a race up in Newbury, MA and am going to register for it this week so I can start prepping for it.  Sure, 3.1 miles isn't a huge deal but to a person who only a month ago couldn't get up a flight of stairs without significant knee pain, it's everything.

In other, related, news:

• I fit into the seats at Fenway Park!  No more squeezing in and essentially being stuck as my hips held me hostage in the seats.
• I ran (not walked, not limped, not pulled) up 4 flights of stairs on the T this week without any knee pain!
• I bought some dresses in a size Large, thinking they'd be the right size in the Fall...but they fit me now!
• My skin has improved and apparently I have the glow of a pregnant woman.  No, there will be no little ones running around any time soon.